I AM CLEANING TODAY.WIPING ALL OF MY SHIT UNDER THE CARPET.I'VE BEEN WASHING MY FACE.ALL THE TRACES AND MARKS TRYING TO FORGET.THE DAMN DIRT UNDER MY FINGERNAILS.FROM SCRATCHING ON THE BOTTOM.
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i have 2 more full days of school
and then a half day, get out at two a lot of work to do this week i think about 4 projects or somehting like that need to be handed in and completed by thursday and then its finally spring break !! ill be going to Pheonix, Arizonia for a whole 16 days so i wont be in germannland the WHOLE break kinda insnane but oh well. so the counddown has begun, CANT WAIT : ) xoxo Looking at the old photos and knowing how ive been sometimes is the hardest thing to look at, starting to hate the person you see on the photo, its not easy to get over.
and now i seem to just be making that person a worse and worse image then she should be. some people mess up once , learn from the lesson and dont do it again , i screw up , say im sorry and seem to just manage to get back on track when i find a new way to mess things up, not only for me then but for the ones i care about ... i want it to change i dont want to be her anymore, the person on the photo i want it to be real, and i want to not be ashamed of her. although right now thats all i am. so today there was no school, and i managed to clean my room , and then go to Hannahs with Cesca and we just chilled on the terase and had nice relaxed day,
and tomorrow is friday ( 7 lessons EWWWW ) but then finally weekend again , and i have a very nice evening planned for tomorrow ( : and a good weekend a head of me, ich freu mich so sehr ! busssssi's you kow what would be nice ?
for people to stop living in other peoples lifes. For people to not care about things that someone did over the weekend, and especially people they dont know, they dont associate with people who dont care about them either. try to stop living in someone elses life and dont care about what they do, becuase seirously it had nothing to do with you to start with... so why do you make it your bussines if its not gonna have an effect on your life ever, oh wait maybe it will that second or minute you can gossip about someone just to make your self feel better becuase you cant think of something more productive or more meaningful to do. Start worrying about what you did, or what you can do and dont care about other people becuae im sorry but its none of your god damn bussines to start off with! peace out bitch. Standing in the corner
thinking all i want to what am i to do should i go home still sober or should i buy me another shot of vodka and forget about time ? but my jeans are to tight dont really feel like dancing no this light is to bright dont really feel like shinning no this room is to small rather stand against the wall and hope no one sees me when everybods dancing i dont want to when everybodys toying i dont want to when everybodys laughing i dont want to everybody but me when everybodys drinking i dont want to when everbodys using i dont want to when everybodys smoking i dont want to everybody but me i get the creeps from all the people in here i can not breathe it's to crowded in here don't look at me i dont wanna be seen touched, heard, botherd by the fellas who have that look in their eyes they wanna take me home without knowing my name they wanna put me on but what they dont know is that im not like the others. |
james snort
Every person i have encouterd in my life, has had some change to me, every person i see on a daily basis has become something to me and every person i will meet in the future will have an impact on me. People have come and gone out of my life, but im still here and im not planing on going anywhere any time soon. so if your no longer a part of my life... i guess thats because of you and me. |