Colgate..
I want to see the world.
Quiet creeps into our homes at night because we give it the space to move. Yesterday we walked down the place where the minutes become the hours. We ran into one of your friends, But he was not singular to you. He had also known me for a few years, a few hours. We used to carry on tgether when things were slower at the factory. He is the reason we met and the reason we eloquent plants to screan across the oceans and play the piano. He told you I was like watching an art-house film in fast foward and you liked that very much.
I m a g i n e :
Your favorite person. the one who you love to spend time with. that makes you laugh uncontrollably. you can’t stop smiling and never want to leave their side. you can’t imagine your life without them. you are constantly smiling when you’re around them. you’ve had so many memories with them. you make each other happy. and then just imagine them being gone. you don’t get to see them anymore. no more memories. no more happy times. you can’t see them ever again. you think of those times and you just wonder, where did the time go? why aren’t you here? why did you have to die? you loved them so much. and just keep questioning it, wondering if it was actually real. is it a dream? nope. just one big nightmare. you don’t get it, but you never will.
Start your howling, its summer here and it’s time for a good chase. My limbs are on fire because of the heat and the lingering, exotic possibilities poking at the surface of this place. The sun doesn’t run rancid like us, it doesn’t burn the same way we do. No, no, when we burn, we do so in an instant. It’s like a sudden flash, a whim of passion, a flicker of insight. The sun is eternal and so are our summer souls. Our passions move in and out, up and down, they circle minds and light up when we least expect them to. The flame blows out, the lighter is out of fluid. Without these obstacles, we would never notice the flame igniting in the first place. So better to burn, burn, burn and blow out like the lowest low, then to eternally burn without conscious knowledge of one’s own ability to change and transform.
Quiet creeps into our homes at night because we give it the space to move. Yesterday we walked down the place where the minutes become the hours. We ran into one of your friends, But he was not singular to you. He had also known me for a few years, a few hours. We used to carry on tgether when things were slower at the factory. He is the reason we met and the reason we eloquent plants to screan across the oceans and play the piano. He told you I was like watching an art-house film in fast foward and you liked that very much.
I m a g i n e :
Your favorite person. the one who you love to spend time with. that makes you laugh uncontrollably. you can’t stop smiling and never want to leave their side. you can’t imagine your life without them. you are constantly smiling when you’re around them. you’ve had so many memories with them. you make each other happy. and then just imagine them being gone. you don’t get to see them anymore. no more memories. no more happy times. you can’t see them ever again. you think of those times and you just wonder, where did the time go? why aren’t you here? why did you have to die? you loved them so much. and just keep questioning it, wondering if it was actually real. is it a dream? nope. just one big nightmare. you don’t get it, but you never will.
Start your howling, its summer here and it’s time for a good chase. My limbs are on fire because of the heat and the lingering, exotic possibilities poking at the surface of this place. The sun doesn’t run rancid like us, it doesn’t burn the same way we do. No, no, when we burn, we do so in an instant. It’s like a sudden flash, a whim of passion, a flicker of insight. The sun is eternal and so are our summer souls. Our passions move in and out, up and down, they circle minds and light up when we least expect them to. The flame blows out, the lighter is out of fluid. Without these obstacles, we would never notice the flame igniting in the first place. So better to burn, burn, burn and blow out like the lowest low, then to eternally burn without conscious knowledge of one’s own ability to change and transform.
----------------------------------------------------------Be your god damn self.------------------------------------------------------
Det är så det ska vara, som en perfect oförstörbar jag. En hand runt mitt hals och klämmer allting benen dem bär inte längre min krop.
Men det är så det ska vara, det är så vi vill ha det nu. Som en perfect och underbar dag. Perfect och oförstörbar, Som du. Men så är det inte.
Jag gör vad jag kan , och drömer mej bort för mest av tiden är det lättare och dröma bort än att vänta på inget, Och sen så kom ingeting när man vaknade up igen. Dem ljög och bedrog oss med deras ord. Min förlorade värld.
Men det är så det ska vara, det är så vi vill ha det nu. Som en perfect och underbar dag. Perfect och oförstörbar, Som du. Men så är det inte.
Jag gör vad jag kan , och drömer mej bort för mest av tiden är det lättare och dröma bort än att vänta på inget, Och sen så kom ingeting när man vaknade up igen. Dem ljög och bedrog oss med deras ord. Min förlorade värld.
I looove posting stuff, just small random things such as quotes or pictures, but i think pictures are my absolut favorit thing to post, or to just find.
"Cinderella walked with one slipper alone..
Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell for a hideous beast
Pocahontas risked her life for a feast
Jasmine chose a poor man and Arielle traded her fin all for love
It's all about facing your biggest fears and not letting the moment
pass you by, live your own fairy tale, create your own happy ending"
"Somehow, it just dawned upon me that everything beautiful will eventually break our heart's.
Or our hands will eventualy break everything beautiful. Things always end up being so ugly."
"Cinderella walked with one slipper alone..
Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell for a hideous beast
Pocahontas risked her life for a feast
Jasmine chose a poor man and Arielle traded her fin all for love
It's all about facing your biggest fears and not letting the moment
pass you by, live your own fairy tale, create your own happy ending"
"Somehow, it just dawned upon me that everything beautiful will eventually break our heart's.
Or our hands will eventualy break everything beautiful. Things always end up being so ugly."
A theroy to rekon with.
I just had a little thought. Well schools almost out right , and i figured scince this summer should be just amazing i want to document the whole goddamn thing. Therefor starting today im going to be doing extra work around the house and small jobs to try and save up for a camera. I found one at Saturn it's 300 euro. I figured if i can get 150 euro for that my dad will most likely pitch in on some of it as well. So thats my current goal for the next month i guess, and thats kinda resanoble or ? anyways today my mom leaves for australia for two weeks, shes back on the 23rd so ill be done with exams , nioce. And im staying at Maria's heute nacht weil my moms away and my dads not home either, and i didnt want to be at home hihi, so after studying ill be at hers.
I have another 7 days until i will have finished my first exam by this time in the day. so i have six days to stil study for the,, shit im compltely scrwed for the science exams, the others i feel alrgith about though. OOOH i just remberd something, i can acutaly make money off of this little gay blog i do , and in one month make some more money, im going to talk to my papi about that tomorrow so theres some other moeny flow for the camera, which is always nice. Thats that for now, ill probably post something else later, but if not tschüssie :* muuuha
I have another 7 days until i will have finished my first exam by this time in the day. so i have six days to stil study for the,, shit im compltely scrwed for the science exams, the others i feel alrgith about though. OOOH i just remberd something, i can acutaly make money off of this little gay blog i do , and in one month make some more money, im going to talk to my papi about that tomorrow so theres some other moeny flow for the camera, which is always nice. Thats that for now, ill probably post something else later, but if not tschüssie :* muuuha
Take it off.
Pull my hair and i wont feel anything.
push my buttons and ill push back.
call me fat, ill not hear you
try to ruin my me thats your choice
Does anyone feel kind of sad when you are asking someone how they are because you really do care, but they only ask you back becuase their tryin to be polliet ?
I feel as though the media, and the socitey is starting to make a statue out of the unique and creative human being, why cant people be how they want to be, with out the judgement of other people ? with out the gossip behind the back because someone ate to much at lunch or becuase they wore last years outfit. If you are 2 pounds over weight, apperntly your fat, if your not tall enough you dont fit in, if you dont like that bag or have those shoes your out. What is the deal with that ? accept people for how they are let them live how they want to live, and just becuase some people want to have fun doesnt mean their a slut, just becuase someone wants to go and get icecream and then take the bus home doesnt mean their fat and just becuase someone gets a two in science doesnt mean their dumb. Stop being so judegmental about the people around you. Because im pretty damn sure you dont want others juding you either , or am i wrong ?
And i swear to god. The romance in the world for some reason seems to be decreasing by every day. When was the last time you saw your dad bring home flowers and chocolates for your mom? Our you heard about a guy how just randomly showed up at his girlfriends house, or a place he knew she would be just so he could see her ? Or a text at 3 am becuase he couldnt sleep becuase she was on his mind ? these things seem to have been forgotten, The cute dates a dinner with your lover or a picknick in the park on a warm spring afternoon. I wish that people would be able to experince things , because they are what keep spirits up , what keep people going. Dont let the romance burn out even if its just for the slightest of a moments, Its is after all the moments we remeber not the days.
push my buttons and ill push back.
call me fat, ill not hear you
try to ruin my me thats your choice
Does anyone feel kind of sad when you are asking someone how they are because you really do care, but they only ask you back becuase their tryin to be polliet ?
I feel as though the media, and the socitey is starting to make a statue out of the unique and creative human being, why cant people be how they want to be, with out the judgement of other people ? with out the gossip behind the back because someone ate to much at lunch or becuase they wore last years outfit. If you are 2 pounds over weight, apperntly your fat, if your not tall enough you dont fit in, if you dont like that bag or have those shoes your out. What is the deal with that ? accept people for how they are let them live how they want to live, and just becuase some people want to have fun doesnt mean their a slut, just becuase someone wants to go and get icecream and then take the bus home doesnt mean their fat and just becuase someone gets a two in science doesnt mean their dumb. Stop being so judegmental about the people around you. Because im pretty damn sure you dont want others juding you either , or am i wrong ?
And i swear to god. The romance in the world for some reason seems to be decreasing by every day. When was the last time you saw your dad bring home flowers and chocolates for your mom? Our you heard about a guy how just randomly showed up at his girlfriends house, or a place he knew she would be just so he could see her ? Or a text at 3 am becuase he couldnt sleep becuase she was on his mind ? these things seem to have been forgotten, The cute dates a dinner with your lover or a picknick in the park on a warm spring afternoon. I wish that people would be able to experince things , because they are what keep spirits up , what keep people going. Dont let the romance burn out even if its just for the slightest of a moments, Its is after all the moments we remeber not the days.
17 DAYS MORE OF SCHOOL. until summer holidays !!!!
That night.
The night that i was waiting for, for months is done and over with, it was amazing my whole birthday weekend, it was more then i could have asked for to spend it with all my friends my family and just to have a great time, a cute suprise from my daddy i ended up getting it was sooo sweet ! the night was just in it self unforgetable. It was perfect and today a nice breakfest with a few people who ended up crashing at mine : ) Ich wollte nur danke sagen ! es war wirklich echt schön !
I am sixteen now . Thats insane : D
today: 04062010
finishing the school day, today is shokingly relaxed. Two first lessons were like nothing, german oral exam and project were due . and well now i have science but its really chill he doesnt cheek anything at all what we do. then ihave some math thing and then geo last lesson and finally weekend ! maria shall be at mine and we'll have this really fun night haha and im planning on partying into my birthday with her. toooooodles :*
ahhhhhh o.m.g. i finally got my tattoo yesterday ! it hurt like a bitch -.- but i am in love with it : ) its just what i wanted and i had a lovely little frank there with me to watch me in aggony haha. Anyways last night was just great : ) i was with someone really great. Today i was with my dad do final fixups for my party and everyythings set in place. I cant wait, i just have to deal with one more day of school tomorrow and then tomorrow night maria is penning at mine and then its finally saturday. But today i have to do a major cleaning since ppl are crashing at mine on saturday ugh cleaning sucks haha
i have a german exam tomorrow, and a german project due. nasty...
i have a german exam tomorrow, and a german project due. nasty...
: )
There’s always a moment, you know—the moment that changes everything. And I’m not talking about the first time you two met or the first time you two spoke or laughed hysterically at the same thing. I’m not talking about when he finally kissed you or hugged you to comfort you when you joked about how he only looks at you as a friend when that really wasn’t the case at all. I’m not talking about how when you drank to get drunk together, there was an immediate connection between you two like you’ve been friends for so long but nothing more even though there was always a question of something more in the back of your minds. I’m not talking about those moments. I’m talking about the moment you knew it would be something more. I’m talking about the moment right before anything happens between you two. I’m talking about the moment your hands accidentally brushed up against one another while sitting next to each other but were speaking to someone else. I’m talking about the moment right before the kiss—the look you two had, the mutual agreement made between your linked eyes, the longing, the can’t-wait-to-see-what-happens-next-feeling, the is-this-really-about-to-happen-feeling—I’m talking about this moment and how it changes everything and how nothing is ever the same after that and how you can never go back to how it was, no matter how hard you try. It was this moment that made every moment we had afterwards taste so bittersweet. It was this moment that I wish I could go back to and relive again.. in hopes of a different ending.
today:02062010
Its right now 13:05 i have another 3 hours and 25 minutes until my termin with astethic art to get my tattoo ! :D my parents agreed to it now and im getting it done before my birthday im soo friggin excited i dont think ive been this excited for a while, i just hope were done around 18:00 so i can make the bus in wolfratshausen (-: sleeping at a friends today so i dont want to miss the bus.
Tomorrow we have no school which is chill, although i have a lot of work to do i think, i really should start studying for my exams which are in two weeks exactly today:S im worried.
three more days until my birthday. i will be sixteen in three days thats insane i cant get my head around the fact of it hihi. but no one is telling me anything about my brithday this year which is really annoying me-.- someone always normally tells you something and not even my brother will tell me who ALWAYS does -.- thats just gay haha oh well at lesat its only another three days to wait for it !
tooooodless;)
Tomorrow we have no school which is chill, although i have a lot of work to do i think, i really should start studying for my exams which are in two weeks exactly today:S im worried.
three more days until my birthday. i will be sixteen in three days thats insane i cant get my head around the fact of it hihi. but no one is telling me anything about my brithday this year which is really annoying me-.- someone always normally tells you something and not even my brother will tell me who ALWAYS does -.- thats just gay haha oh well at lesat its only another three days to wait for it !
tooooodless;)
This love is all she know. No matter how much i would like to tell her its nothing that can be said its nothing that can be let out cuase right now shes happy. Right now shes free. Going back it would be all she wants. it never was supposed to be like that but it is. If only people knew her like i did if only people would love her like i do if only people could see what i ses if only people knew she wasnt acutally as happy as she looked.
Markings I
We marked the pitch: four jackets for four goalposts,
That was all. The corners and the squares
Were there like longitude and latitude
Under the bumpy thistly ground, to be
Agreed about or disagreed about
When the time came. And then we picked the teams
And crossed the line our called names drew between us.
Youngsters shouting their heads off in a field
As the light died and they kept on playing
Because by then they were playing in their heads
And the actual kicked ball came to them
Like a dream heaviness, and there own hard
Breathing in the dark and skids on grass
Sounded like effort in another world . . .
It was quick and constant, a game that never need
Be played out. Some limit had been passed,
There was fleetness, furtherance, untiredness
In time that was extra, unforeseen and free.
II
You also loved lines pegged out in the garden,
The spade nicking the first straight edge along
The tight white string. Or string stretched perfectly
To mark the outline of a house foundation
Pale timber battens set at right angles
For every corner, each freshly sawn new board
Spick and span in the oddly passive grass.
Or the imaginary line straight down
A field of grazing, to be ploughed open
From the rod stuck in one headrig to the rod
Stuck in the other.
III
All these things entered you
As if they were both the door and what came through it.
They marked the spot, marked time and held it open.
A mower parted the bronze sea of corn.
A windlass hauled the centre out of water.
Two men with a cross-cut kept it swimming
Into a felled beech backwards and forwards
So that they seemed to row the steady earth.
-Seamus Heaney.
We marked the pitch: four jackets for four goalposts,
That was all. The corners and the squares
Were there like longitude and latitude
Under the bumpy thistly ground, to be
Agreed about or disagreed about
When the time came. And then we picked the teams
And crossed the line our called names drew between us.
Youngsters shouting their heads off in a field
As the light died and they kept on playing
Because by then they were playing in their heads
And the actual kicked ball came to them
Like a dream heaviness, and there own hard
Breathing in the dark and skids on grass
Sounded like effort in another world . . .
It was quick and constant, a game that never need
Be played out. Some limit had been passed,
There was fleetness, furtherance, untiredness
In time that was extra, unforeseen and free.
II
You also loved lines pegged out in the garden,
The spade nicking the first straight edge along
The tight white string. Or string stretched perfectly
To mark the outline of a house foundation
Pale timber battens set at right angles
For every corner, each freshly sawn new board
Spick and span in the oddly passive grass.
Or the imaginary line straight down
A field of grazing, to be ploughed open
From the rod stuck in one headrig to the rod
Stuck in the other.
III
All these things entered you
As if they were both the door and what came through it.
They marked the spot, marked time and held it open.
A mower parted the bronze sea of corn.
A windlass hauled the centre out of water.
Two men with a cross-cut kept it swimming
Into a felled beech backwards and forwards
So that they seemed to row the steady earth.
-Seamus Heaney.
NOCH 5 TAGE ! :D
I like scars. I like melted chocolate. I like standing on my toes. I like pink and white. I like rainbows. I like things that are miniature versions of what they are. I like things that are bigger versions of what they are. I hate rules. I hate disapointing people. I like quills.I like the smell of rain. I like red cars. I like ice rinks early in the morning. I like the sound glass smashing makes. I like the smell of old books. I like the smell of magazines. I like shoes that have laces. I like binoculars. I like the sound camera shutters make. I like dancing when nobody is watching. I like feeling pretty (but I never do). I like secret smiles. I like the sound scissors make when they are cutting hair. I like curls. I like tiptoes. I like seals. I like purple drinks. I like the smell of powder. I like theatres. I like how americans call forts forts, and plaits braids and biscuits cookies. I like streaky clouds. I like weak heat. I like bruises. I like dead leaves. I like new tights. I like birds. I like daydreaming. I like nightdreaming. I like shiny noses. I like pink food. I like wooden cotton reels. I like words with double letters. I like words with silent aitches. I like gold and gilt and rhinestones. I don’t like diamonds. I like him. And I like you, silly. I wish I was an artist. I wish I could enjoy what I write. I wish I could sing. I wish I could whistle. I wish I could say and express every emotion I feel. I wish I could rely on myself. I wish I could stick to my guns. I wish I could dance like no one’s watching. I wish I could make you see, truly see the love I have for you. I wish I could plant a mini forest. I wish I could keep a garden. I wish I could stick to my heart. I wish I could find one favorite song. Finally: I wish that I could wish forever. I WANT : To wake up every morning with a smile on my face. To be loved. To see the beauty in everything. To travel to breath taking places. To laugh at everything. To have friends that truly care. To dance and sing to records on the weekends. To feel infinite. To dream as big as I can. To be wanted. To live in New York. To see plays. To have a huge record collection. To always stay a bit immature. To be nice. To be gratituous. To love more. To not care what others think of me. To smile at everyone I see. To experience. To feel. To move. To love, better. To stop being selfish. To learn. To know. To teach. To care. I want to dance. I want to draw. I want to sing. I want to act. I want to paint. To earn. To deserve. To tell the truth. To never regret. To live life as big as I can. To never miss an opportunity. I want all these things. I want to love everything. I want to tell you.
Modern living.
You should belive what you want to belive , weather it be what you hear or not. You shouldnt always belive things that you are told. since they might not be true. it could just be bullshit someones saying and always take someone's word whos you trust over the one you dont. Dont follow around with the gossip and keep spreading it if you dont even know for your self that its true. And always try to follow your heart your belif and your feeling rather then too other peoples. Thats a way to mess things up and thats a way to lose your self. Tut mir leid.
WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER ?
the floor or the ceiling?
the lock or the key?
the pain or the guilt?
the love or the heart?
the shooting star or the wish?
the star or the moon?
the day or the night ?
the begining or the end?
the river or the ocean?
the summer or the winter?
the rain or the sun?
the words or the sentence?
the feeling or the truth ?
the reality or the dream ?
-Hannah otte.
answers from me :
the ceiling
the key
the pain
the love
the heart
the wish
the star
the night
the begining
the summer
the rain
the sentence
the truth
the dream
Tell me what your answers would be : http://www.formspring.me/Jamielynnlloyd
the floor or the ceiling?
the lock or the key?
the pain or the guilt?
the love or the heart?
the shooting star or the wish?
the star or the moon?
the day or the night ?
the begining or the end?
the river or the ocean?
the summer or the winter?
the rain or the sun?
the words or the sentence?
the feeling or the truth ?
the reality or the dream ?
-Hannah otte.
answers from me :
the ceiling
the key
the pain
the love
the heart
the wish
the star
the night
the begining
the summer
the rain
the sentence
the truth
the dream
Tell me what your answers would be : http://www.formspring.me/Jamielynnlloyd
I dont think i have ever written something that brutaly honest before as i just did too two friends of mine. Insane.
