FROM NOW ON THIS SITE IS PICTUERS AND PICTUERS ONLY. IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME ITS ON : http://jameslloyd.devote.se/
Sunrise.
I havent updated in quit a while, ive just been to busy. School work was a lot and then on friday the soccer teams and guys volleyball went to franktfurt for some friendly's. The weekend wasnt what i wanted/needed. But what ever i can not change that now. I got soo many photos its insane : ). So i got home last night, and it was alyssa's birthday yesterday gosh i miss her! anyways i just edited and started uploading all the photos. and today i have got to do somethings around the house and then finish most of my homework ... nasty. But at least the weather has taken a turn and it has been really nice this weekend (:
That was long, intense and made me feel somethings. I didnt know i still feelt. ive been listening to musik for the past hours. i only got geo and history done. but oh well. off to bed goodnight sleep tight. And think about all the good things in your life. (:
The XX.
i have deicided to just not give a fuck any more. Just going to live my life and be as care free as possiable have as much fun as i can and create as many good memories that possiabley can be created. Because why shoudl i bother about things that arent good or arent fun ? that just wouldnt make any sense.
its sunday evening and i have just finished supper a little while ago. Marie is over at my house at the moment and she will be staying over tonight and coming with me to school tomorrow. The weekend was eventful i guess you could say. weird in many ways and turned out i guess different than i thought it would have. But i think im coming to learn that with the decisions you make there are always no matter what some kind of consiqunses. Weather it be between my parents, or something to do with me and my family or my friends or just things like that in general. It will always end up coming to bite you back in the ass. theres nothing you can do to change it either. I can not say sorry for things i have done becuase after sayin it a certain amount of times it just doesnt mean anything anymore. At least not the the people hearing it. But right now im going to focus on my friends and my school and the relationship with my mom. The things that really matter to me. the things that hopefully stick around for along time. it just sucks looking back upon misstakes and it sucks not knowing how or what to do to make things better. But i know one thing in the past two weeks i have come to learn a lot about people. And also the fact that some people are different than what you thought they were. There are people who can change. and then there are the people who do change. i say this now becuase i saw this in someone.
Anyways i dont know if anyone will even read what i just wrote or if they read the stuff on here. I dont know if it effects people or not. but i guess its just something i wont know either. and honestly that doesnt bother me.
Today i had a nice walk with xaver from the sbahn stop to grünwald. and then saw a few people. then came home and did homework.
Weird. strange. Confussed. Tolerent. Expectant. Those are things i feel right now. Worried is the number one. scared fuck yes.
Anyways i dont know if anyone will even read what i just wrote or if they read the stuff on here. I dont know if it effects people or not. but i guess its just something i wont know either. and honestly that doesnt bother me.
Today i had a nice walk with xaver from the sbahn stop to grünwald. and then saw a few people. then came home and did homework.
Weird. strange. Confussed. Tolerent. Expectant. Those are things i feel right now. Worried is the number one. scared fuck yes.
I did'nt see it before , i didnt know it before. If i could i would take it all back.
“What was so simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is”
“What was so simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is”
Finally weekend! after a full proper first week of school its something very needed indeed. Maria sleept over at mine last night and we just had a nice little girls night at my house, cocked dinner, and watched a show, but we were so tiered we just ended up falling asleep. We got picked up from school in the coolest car ever yesterday from a friend of Xavers very chill:) and maria left this morning and me and my dad went shopping for some soccer things and a few other things came with us home. Now im just getting ready for tonight. Birthday reinfeier tonight so it should be fun, last year it was atleast. I just am really looking foward to it :) and dobby will be there as welll hihi . So i have to go and finish getting ready now. Ciao.
I love my friend..
He went away from me
there's nothing more to say
The poem ends,
Soft as it begun.
I loved my friend.
He went away from me
there's nothing more to say
The poem ends,
Soft as it begun.
I loved my friend.
" I have learned that people will forget what you say to them. People will forget what you did , but people will never forget how you made them feel. "
I love the way you lie.
You can hope and never give up. You can dream and just wish for it to come true. You can try over and over again. You can work hard at it. You can just sit there and pray. No matter what the same thing just keeps on happening. Its kind of hard. and it kind of sucks to keep your hopes up high , your dreams alive and your prayers real. when there seems to be nothing in return. You can become a better something, do the right thing. try and do whats right and live for those things, But how do you know these thinsg will work out for you in the end ? how can you know that ? if the same things keep on happening to you.Although i have this gut feeling that everything happens for a reason . so eventually things will be understod, and looked back upon. Things will just sort them selves out on there own weather it be for the good or the better no one can yet know. Wether it be what i want or not , i can not yet know. It will all just come wtih time .
"Don't give up. The begining is always the hardest. "
"Don't give up. The begining is always the hardest. "
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4deXN2RuhE&feature=related
waking up and reading something like that , i think is the best way to start off a day. Just to have a smile of your face after and im pretty sure it will be there all day now : )Listen to the URL above. the song is nice : )
well im off to school right now and its one of those funny days with 5 fourty-five minutes and two one hour classes, after that soccer and then home.
Right now i just want weekend i dont have the want for school right now ...
well im off to school right now and its one of those funny days with 5 fourty-five minutes and two one hour classes, after that soccer and then home.
Right now i just want weekend i dont have the want for school right now ...
Today has been an alright day, the weather was so bad this morning though so i think everyone was a bit cranky but right now the sun is shinning and even though its chilly out its nice. I had some very relaing classes today, and since ive started the year off well with working in all my classes its easier becuase theres not all the added stress. we had a lock down drill during science and ofcorse with my luck i was not in the class room when the alarm went off, but in the hallway on my way to my locker. so i ran into some class which ended up being a 6th grade class... kind of akward ? haha anyways i have a bit of homework tonight , geo, art and physic. and i also need to read in the englisch book " The great gatsby. " i still dont understand the book :/
someone just made my day : ) i think ill be smiling for the rest of the day.
off to do some of this homework now , toodles.
someone just made my day : ) i think ill be smiling for the rest of the day.
off to do some of this homework now , toodles.
Being you should be enough.
Monday.
First day of the week. Couldnt have started better... the weather was shit. Woke up from a fight with my dad and began another. off to school great. although at least now weve started properly in art again and it is like my little get away. So thats what i am going to do now until supper which is in an hour or so.
photos credits to pim.
i need to come to terms with some personal things before i can move on, Before i can try and fix things. I know this path is coming to its end, and i can feel it. but maybe in the long term thats worth it.. ? maybe its meant to be or for the best i dont know we shall just have to wait and see
although i know this
i have three promises to my self:
1. Drinking is done with- i have my reasons. Dont bother asking why i most likely wont tell you.
2. I am done smoking for the rest of my life - It is just flat out bad for you.
3. This is my personal one that i wont post on here. Its for me to know and me alone.
So far i have had 13 days with number three.
and i had ten but something happend with the other two. So now im starting over, it has been now two days. And counting.
This is not for anyone else but me. Because no one is going to tell me how i can live my life and what i can and cannot do. Everything listed above has its reason's becuase of me.
although i know this
i have three promises to my self:
1. Drinking is done with- i have my reasons. Dont bother asking why i most likely wont tell you.
2. I am done smoking for the rest of my life - It is just flat out bad for you.
3. This is my personal one that i wont post on here. Its for me to know and me alone.
So far i have had 13 days with number three.
and i had ten but something happend with the other two. So now im starting over, it has been now two days. And counting.
This is not for anyone else but me. Because no one is going to tell me how i can live my life and what i can and cannot do. Everything listed above has its reason's becuase of me.
? ? ?
today i am going to start my homeowrk now and get that out of the way, clean my room. and then i think go into grünwald for a coffe or something. Just a relaxing sunday.
I think i am just pretty much done with all this. I cant decide if i am going to willing to put up with all this anymore. I have tried but its not working. I have a feeling it wont. and it hurts but that is all becuase of my actions anyways. So now all i have to do is live with the consequences and eventually ill move on i guess.. but i just don't even know if i want that, becuase even though it hurts it might be worth it ? i dont know anymore with everything that happend i just cant think striaght. Weird how someone else's actions can really effect you to such an extent.
I think i am just pretty much done with all this. I cant decide if i am going to willing to put up with all this anymore. I have tried but its not working. I have a feeling it wont. and it hurts but that is all becuase of my actions anyways. So now all i have to do is live with the consequences and eventually ill move on i guess.. but i just don't even know if i want that, becuase even though it hurts it might be worth it ? i dont know anymore with everything that happend i just cant think striaght. Weird how someone else's actions can really effect you to such an extent.
its just weird and confussing.
: /
Natoll! jag kan helt enkelt inte fatta det ! its disgusting and im disgusted. and now for the next i dont know how long it will all be an act and i know that. im so pissed off or just annoyed or i dont know i just feel somehow betrayed i cant really put it into words.
Today we went to the kletterwald, we got there late cuase of traffic. it was warm as hell outside. someone got injured. we went back to the school and then ended up playing soccer in 30°C so intense! my body is acheing and im just annoyed at everything right now, and i think im going to go off to bed now or read or something.
I really dont know what to do right now... its weird and confussing, its something you should not have to f***ing deal with ever. No one schould.
so just in other words this day was not all that great. Tomorrow is another day, so i guess it should be better, and at least there was no homework today, if there would have been... i would have just i dont know what anyways
goodnight.
Today we went to the kletterwald, we got there late cuase of traffic. it was warm as hell outside. someone got injured. we went back to the school and then ended up playing soccer in 30°C so intense! my body is acheing and im just annoyed at everything right now, and i think im going to go off to bed now or read or something.
I really dont know what to do right now... its weird and confussing, its something you should not have to f***ing deal with ever. No one schould.
so just in other words this day was not all that great. Tomorrow is another day, so i guess it should be better, and at least there was no homework today, if there would have been... i would have just i dont know what anyways
goodnight.
other
today was yet a day in school , and the last two periods were physics and bio. that was nasty but now its done with for this week at least. Tryouts were also today, and i must admit i did not give it my best, i was way to lazy for some reason but thats alright beucase i don't think i really want to make Varsity either way.. the girls who all live in grünwald are going to do a little girls night and go get some ice cream so im heading off to there shortly, but i just wanted to post a little right now. So other than that nothing new really i guess. Tomorrow is our grade retreat thing, which means we are heading over to garmish tomoroow for Kletterwald, to do rope courses and hopefully it should be fun. and then friday we are doing activites in school...that dosent sound as fun, but at least no more classes this week : )
I need to really start reading this book for english " The great Gatsby " but it is really so confussing.
Anyways im off now.
I need to really start reading this book for english " The great Gatsby " but it is really so confussing.
Anyways im off now.
It's time for a change.
The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That’s the only lasting thing you can create.I just want to be the girl to change your ----, just like you did to mine.
carry on
Every single part of me wishes that i could take those nights backs. The first sip and until the morning after. I cant even understand at the moment what i was thinking to think that i could get away with that with out making something else fall apart eventualy. i would do anything to take things back in the past. but i guess thats what kind of makes us into us, we make choices and what ever the outcome turns out to be we are forced to live with them weather we like it or not. So now this is the way i have to live my life, this is what i have to learn my experinces from and this i am hoping will really make me see what i want and what i dont in life, well acutally i have already been able to see that. Its all i want right now.
First morning nearly done. And i have managed to stay awake. Im so tiered though.
today are the soccer tryouts... im nervous !
today are the soccer tryouts... im nervous !
Sunday Morning.
So i just woke up on thee first sunday morning back in the normal dayliy life, knowing that tomorrow i have to get up and go to school. Classes beging tomorrow... nasty. I think i had the worst nights sleep last night that anyone could possiably of had. my room was prbably abput 35°C and i had a mosqito in my room that decided to eat me alive. The weekend has been pretty chilled i liked it atleast. On friday i just stayed home and my dad came back from sweden. saturday... went over to pick my brother up and then the whole family did a shopping day, got some nice things home with me : ) after that i met francesca intown and we bought birthday pressents and things for hannah sincer her 16th is on monday, then just back to mine and relaxed, her dad picked her up later. Then i sat out on my ballcony and read " A walk to remeber " im almost done, the book is sooo good !
today is going to be nice though... relaxing in the sun, biergarten with all the swedish people and then over to hannahs with francesca.
Anyways thats about that.
today is going to be nice though... relaxing in the sun, biergarten with all the swedish people and then over to hannahs with francesca.
Anyways thats about that.
So the first day back at school. Saw all the new people , got the new time tables, and also a book from english which i have to start reading already on the first day.. that totaly blows ! but oh well at least the book is intersting : ) it was pretty intersting seeing everyone again , not that many people changed. But it was so weird to not have like the seniors around and stuff , like the 11th grade are the seniors just ahrd to get used to i guess..
anyways tomorrow is the day we finally get our macbooks back !!! : ) im soooo happy im sick of this computer haha
i think i have figured something out that ive been waiting to figure out all summer. Im not going to post it on here cuase i want to keep it to my self but lets just say ive made some promises to my self , noticed something today and im very happy.
anyways tomorrow is the day we finally get our macbooks back !!! : ) im soooo happy im sick of this computer haha
i think i have figured something out that ive been waiting to figure out all summer. Im not going to post it on here cuase i want to keep it to my self but lets just say ive made some promises to my self , noticed something today and im very happy.
done and over with.
Today, the 18th of august was the last day of summer holidays 2010. Tomorrow at 09:15 school starts and i being 10th grade. I can still not grip the thought that summer is done with , it feels like im still waiting for it to begin considering the bad weather most of the time.
Although i am excited to get my mac book back on friday morning so in two more days and im back to the mac : )
anyways the partys and the freedom is over with for the next how ever long it is , and thats just depressing. although it will be nice to see all the people again and geting back into rutine , i guess...
its been a good summer though , many memories both good and bad, new experinces were reached and ive learnt a lot about my self and what i want in life.
Im off to bed now so that i hopefully dont fall asleep in school tomorrow, gosh thats so sad waking up at like 07:00 and then off to school at 08:30 nasty stuff.
anyways nightnight
Although i am excited to get my mac book back on friday morning so in two more days and im back to the mac : )
anyways the partys and the freedom is over with for the next how ever long it is , and thats just depressing. although it will be nice to see all the people again and geting back into rutine , i guess...
its been a good summer though , many memories both good and bad, new experinces were reached and ive learnt a lot about my self and what i want in life.
Im off to bed now so that i hopefully dont fall asleep in school tomorrow, gosh thats so sad waking up at like 07:00 and then off to school at 08:30 nasty stuff.
anyways nightnight
byebye summer
I'm afraid to grow up because sometimes it seems as though things won't ever feel this beautiful again...
I wish it would be easy enough to just live life carefree and be able to live with out the worries of things going wrong or what you do today might effect your future. It would be so nice if you could just have everyday, to be there for you and the ones you love. To just let everything go and be living in the moment with out the worries and with out the fear. Yet it seems that the older we get the more this just catches us in the end. I think that everyone just in there own way needs to for a while at least let everything go. Let everything be and forget what they have to do. Just go out and live your life for a day, do what every you want, with who ever you want and just have fun with out strings attached or thoughts behind it all.
This path that we are all on, and the path that we have all been on for a while now is'nt going to show us how to live spontaniasly. or show us what the rights in life are or what the wrongs are. It wont tell us when something we do might efect or lifes or change the way we look upon things, that is something only we our selves can do. But rember this one day that path will come to an end weather we want it or not, we wont know when or how or even why for that matter all we will have with us though are the memories we created along the way. So dont let things hold you back and leave you walking along this path with regrets and questions of " what if ? " just take a chance and risk it .
This path that we are all on, and the path that we have all been on for a while now is'nt going to show us how to live spontaniasly. or show us what the rights in life are or what the wrongs are. It wont tell us when something we do might efect or lifes or change the way we look upon things, that is something only we our selves can do. But rember this one day that path will come to an end weather we want it or not, we wont know when or how or even why for that matter all we will have with us though are the memories we created along the way. So dont let things hold you back and leave you walking along this path with regrets and questions of " what if ? " just take a chance and risk it .
If you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing.
Stale, chapped lips.
He kissed me, I felt them.
It was as if I was kissing the seas.
Rough exterior but could sustain my body.
The sun, acting as a barrier to the above.
That feeling in my stomach.
Repulsion. But I like you.
Repulsion. But my hands ache for yours.
Tracing fights of love on your palm.
It’s as if I’m kissing the seas,
giving me all to fear and long for.
I am sixteen years old. I am from America/sweden/canada. I am scared of falling in love.
"Stop being such a god damn pussy. Stop saying no and start saying yes. Swear when you want to, kiss who ever and fuck those who hate you. Wear what you want , say what you want and say fuck it when everything falls apart. Have sex, get kissed, get dirty, be a flirt , get drunk, smoke pot and smoke a little more. Fuck people, fuck the leader of the world, fuck your parents, fuck your teachers, fuck your siblings, fuck everyone. Because in no time you'll be old and wrinkily, married with grandkids on the way, wishing you didn't give a shit when you were younger.
So hold your head up high and say i don't care, because what hurts other people the most is seeing you happy and not worrying about a thing."
http://kristenam.tumblr.com/page/3
He kissed me, I felt them.
It was as if I was kissing the seas.
Rough exterior but could sustain my body.
The sun, acting as a barrier to the above.
That feeling in my stomach.
Repulsion. But I like you.
Repulsion. But my hands ache for yours.
Tracing fights of love on your palm.
It’s as if I’m kissing the seas,
giving me all to fear and long for.
I am sixteen years old. I am from America/sweden/canada. I am scared of falling in love.
"Stop being such a god damn pussy. Stop saying no and start saying yes. Swear when you want to, kiss who ever and fuck those who hate you. Wear what you want , say what you want and say fuck it when everything falls apart. Have sex, get kissed, get dirty, be a flirt , get drunk, smoke pot and smoke a little more. Fuck people, fuck the leader of the world, fuck your parents, fuck your teachers, fuck your siblings, fuck everyone. Because in no time you'll be old and wrinkily, married with grandkids on the way, wishing you didn't give a shit when you were younger.
So hold your head up high and say i don't care, because what hurts other people the most is seeing you happy and not worrying about a thing."
http://kristenam.tumblr.com/page/3
Well that went by fast. 5 more days left of the summer vacation in 2010.
and my dad got back from america today.
and my dad got back from america today.
I am a million different things.
These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone's doing them. Lots of people are tempted by the excitement or escape that drugs seem to offer.
These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone's doing them. Lots of people are tempted by the excitement or escape that drugs seem to offer.
But learning the facts about drugs can help you see the risks of chasing this excitement or escape. Here's what you need to know.
How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life… you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home… I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office… and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks
These days, drugs can be found everywhere, and it may seem like everyone's doing them. Lots of people are tempted by the excitement or escape that drugs seem to offer.
But learning the facts about drugs can help you see the risks of chasing this excitement or escape. Here's what you need to know.
How much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life… you start with the little things. The shelves, the drawers, the knickknacks, then you start adding larger stuff. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps, your TV… the backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You go bigger. Your couch, your car, your home… I want you to stuff it all into that backpack. Now I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances, friends of friends, folks around the office… and then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children, your parents and finally your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You get them into that backpack, feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks
toll
So i completly fucked up today. this sucks , im stuck most likely being grounded for the rest of the summer, but i think i kind of need it just some down time from everything and yea . Brother is off to sweden tomorrow until the 16th and My daddie goes to the states as well, so it will be me and my mom for a while.
So just us girls. And i must say i really love my mom shes amazing.
I get my mac book back in a few weeks :D and thats sooo ncie i love the idea of school again in away seeing everyone again, being back in the place thats so furmiliar and all that.
I cant wait for a friend of mine to come back in six days. He was supposed to be back today but hes staying longer, kinda upset me since he promised to be here today but oh well at least ill see him then : )
So just us girls. And i must say i really love my mom shes amazing.
I get my mac book back in a few weeks :D and thats sooo ncie i love the idea of school again in away seeing everyone again, being back in the place thats so furmiliar and all that.
I cant wait for a friend of mine to come back in six days. He was supposed to be back today but hes staying longer, kinda upset me since he promised to be here today but oh well at least ill see him then : )
Less then 2 god friggin weeks... im so sad
katys staying at mine for another while its really chill, i just hope that we get better weather soon
I have an interview on tuesday.. and i just realized how soon that is im kinda extreamly nervous since i really want this job !
katys staying at mine for another while its really chill, i just hope that we get better weather soon
I have an interview on tuesday.. and i just realized how soon that is im kinda extreamly nervous since i really want this job !
14days:@
Its been a pretty layed back summer these past five weeks, and theres another two to go now. Which when you htink about it is acutally a lot of time but also i know and so does everyone else that it will end up going by so fast. And then there ill be walking into MIS that first day coming to school as a tenth grader. kinda weird how fast time flyes bye. Already how fast time has gone by since then last day of school. and everything that has happend since then. I know that 7 weeks in comparison to a year isnt all that much but its when you notice how much things change and how much people around you and your self ends up changing.
Ive personally realized a lot of things over the summer, but im going to keep those to my self.
i just really wish that the summer could have had better weather its been raining and completly depressing most of the time : / but oh well at least theres been a lot of things to do over the summer.
Ive personally realized a lot of things over the summer, but im going to keep those to my self.
i just really wish that the summer could have had better weather its been raining and completly depressing most of the time : / but oh well at least theres been a lot of things to do over the summer.
this is what we call a dreamer.
someone completely out of touch with reality.
someone completely out of touch with reality.
I'm F***ing sick and Tiered of chasing. I'm done.
I want to know what i want.
I hope someday what ever it is im trying to find, what ever it is im looking for that it will just someday come to me. Something out there will just appear to me and i will know it. And when that comes i will make sure i fight for it and work for it. Since nothing in this life is ever given to you for free. No matter what.
The things in life that matter are normally the things that are free. Which i have come to learn over time.
I know that even with out a guy in my life, my friends are what i care the most about. And for me i dont need to have a bunch of friends or be popular in any kind of way. I know i have a handful of extreammly good friends who i know that i love. And i know they love me, and for who i am , not what they think they know or hear. and to me thats the greatest thing someone can ask for. People who just accept you for who you are. Who you can laugh with about the stupidest things or just break down crying, or just lay around all day in a house and not do anything at all. These are the things in life that really matter and these are the things that i know i will never ever forget nor will i let go of it.
And i know that i have gone through stuff in the past and i know i have to face things in the future all i know is that with someone very close to me, well two people have always been therefor me, and helped me through things and weather i end up knowing what it is i want out of life or what i want to find, i can at least say i have had some amazing people so share it with.
The summer has another two weeks to go before i enter my second year of highschool. Im kinda in shock thinking that i am already in tenth grade, even though some people might not think its all that much, but if you think back to when you were seven years old just thiking about how far away that is and how old you thought it was back then , it seems a bit more.
The things in life that matter are normally the things that are free. Which i have come to learn over time.
I know that even with out a guy in my life, my friends are what i care the most about. And for me i dont need to have a bunch of friends or be popular in any kind of way. I know i have a handful of extreammly good friends who i know that i love. And i know they love me, and for who i am , not what they think they know or hear. and to me thats the greatest thing someone can ask for. People who just accept you for who you are. Who you can laugh with about the stupidest things or just break down crying, or just lay around all day in a house and not do anything at all. These are the things in life that really matter and these are the things that i know i will never ever forget nor will i let go of it.
And i know that i have gone through stuff in the past and i know i have to face things in the future all i know is that with someone very close to me, well two people have always been therefor me, and helped me through things and weather i end up knowing what it is i want out of life or what i want to find, i can at least say i have had some amazing people so share it with.
The summer has another two weeks to go before i enter my second year of highschool. Im kinda in shock thinking that i am already in tenth grade, even though some people might not think its all that much, but if you think back to when you were seven years old just thiking about how far away that is and how old you thought it was back then , it seems a bit more.
I think some people are absolutly pathetic.
Cant people leave other peoples lives alone and not always get into them and have to talk about them ?
and also somthing i dont quit get is why is it guys can do what ever they want practiclly and there seems to be no judgement but when girls do the same thing there labeld as certain things or put into a bad image ? let people live their own lives how they want to and go worry about your god damn own issues. Because im pretty sure your not all that perfect either am i right ? Everyone does things but i think that people should just be able to live their life how they want to. I dont do things becuase i think its cool or thats whats in , i hate following trends and being like other people. I do my own thing for me and me alone. Just get out of my life if you are only bitching about it or get to know the person i actualy am for once.
and honestly if i havent been botherd by all the stuff people say about me by now, then why will it start to now ? i really dont care. i just think its immature.
Cant people leave other peoples lives alone and not always get into them and have to talk about them ?
and also somthing i dont quit get is why is it guys can do what ever they want practiclly and there seems to be no judgement but when girls do the same thing there labeld as certain things or put into a bad image ? let people live their own lives how they want to and go worry about your god damn own issues. Because im pretty sure your not all that perfect either am i right ? Everyone does things but i think that people should just be able to live their life how they want to. I dont do things becuase i think its cool or thats whats in , i hate following trends and being like other people. I do my own thing for me and me alone. Just get out of my life if you are only bitching about it or get to know the person i actualy am for once.
and honestly if i havent been botherd by all the stuff people say about me by now, then why will it start to now ? i really dont care. i just think its immature.
Garage Sale.
Im bumming over at hannahs for the weekend and cesca was also here yesterday was nice : )
we were walking back for the sbahn to hannahs and then a car drove by, since it has been rainging for like two days staright the car managed to drive straight into a pudle and soak me wet. I WAS SO PISSED. anyways we just chilled over at hers, watched room 1408 and then went to bed so that we would be fit for today :)
Tonight is the I < 3 UR MOM thing in solln which were going to with a few people, all the people from grünwald are coming so it will be nice to see them again since i havent seen them since before i left for italy.
Im excited hihi : )
tomorrow my family from america is coming... im not really sure who since i just found out a few days ago hehe... but ill be i guess around wtih them and stuff anyways.
And then ja, when i get home ill put up photos on the blog from my summer. :)
tschüss
i <3 UR mom was shit.
we were walking back for the sbahn to hannahs and then a car drove by, since it has been rainging for like two days staright the car managed to drive straight into a pudle and soak me wet. I WAS SO PISSED. anyways we just chilled over at hers, watched room 1408 and then went to bed so that we would be fit for today :)
Tonight is the I < 3 UR MOM thing in solln which were going to with a few people, all the people from grünwald are coming so it will be nice to see them again since i havent seen them since before i left for italy.
Im excited hihi : )
tomorrow my family from america is coming... im not really sure who since i just found out a few days ago hehe... but ill be i guess around wtih them and stuff anyways.
And then ja, when i get home ill put up photos on the blog from my summer. :)
tschüss
i <3 UR mom was shit.
Closer
I just want to figure my life out. Get everything sorted out and put into its own catagories.
making decisions and coming to learn what certain things mean to me, and what certain things dont.
I want to make people see me for who i am, and not what they hear.
Figure out who i am is probably my most wanted wish. although i know that should just come with time
figuring out your place in the world. Who means something to you. and who doesnt.
Knowing waht i want to do with my life and just being able to pick up and move on from the hard things in life
and make the good things be memories to never forget. Even if some hurt.
all i want is to know who i am and figure my life out.
making decisions and coming to learn what certain things mean to me, and what certain things dont.
I want to make people see me for who i am, and not what they hear.
Figure out who i am is probably my most wanted wish. although i know that should just come with time
figuring out your place in the world. Who means something to you. and who doesnt.
Knowing waht i want to do with my life and just being able to pick up and move on from the hard things in life
and make the good things be memories to never forget. Even if some hurt.
all i want is to know who i am and figure my life out.
